Dear Diary
by abonhigh
Summary: After everything that happened, he was gone. Just like that. And what was left was the memory of his laughing, sinister face as he humiliated me in front of everyone. Sleep wasn't easy for years, trust me on that one. Then why? Why was karma so unfair that I met him again?
1. Prologue

**Dear Diary.**

**Prologue**

**11 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** Today was the best day possible. Edward Cullen talked to me! Can you believe it? I was sitting in the cafeteria with Jess, Lauren and Katie when someone tapped on my shoulder. It was him. I had to remind myself to breathe. He said 'hi' and I may have said it back; I don't know. I was too high. Then he said that he would like me to join him for lunch tomorrow at his table. I stared at him for a whole minute before nodding dumbly. He said he was glad I said yes and would see me tomorrow. **

** Jess, Lauren and Katie looked at me with wide eyes and squealed happily that he must like me, too. I don't know. I hope what they say is true. Because I ****_so_**** like him. The whole day after that they would giggle behind their hands whenever Edward passed by. I didn't tell them that he secretly smiled at me, too.**

** This is all so surreal. I can't believe that till yesterday I was the invisible girl for him and now…it's overwhelming. There is also this nagging at the back of my mind that something's wrong, too. I just hope I don't get too hurt.**

**12 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** I did sit with him at his table today. Tanya Denali kept smirking at me for some reason, Irina McCarthy was very quiet and Laurent Denali kept whispering in her ear and she would only nod at him. Sam Quiltera kept glaring at Edward. I guess he didn't like that I had joined them. It hurt, really. Garret, Laurent Denali's cousin brother, kept glancing at my table as though observing my girlfriends' reactions at this arrangement. James and Victoria – the 'it' couple – kept to themselves the whole time. **

** Only Edward talked to me. He even inclined his chair towards me a little. I swear I was in Heaven. He asked me about my hobbies, my likes and dislikes and stuff like that. I told him as much as possible without boring him to death. I didn't tell him about you though. You, my dear Diary, are my most possessed secret.**

** After lunch, Edward asked me to make this a "regular thing". I asked if his friends were okay with it. He assured me that they were. I didn't prod any further; I was desperate myself to sit with him again. Jess, Lauren and Katie wanted full details about it. I told them. I asked why Garret Denali kept looking at them. I guess Katie did blush a little but she dismissed it as cold. **

**16 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** It's been four days since I wrote. I'm sorry; I guess I was just too busy in my La-la land all the time. Edward Cullen is my friend now. He said so himself. I had blushed and said a quiet 'yes'. I sit with them every day. Even now, it's only Edward who talks to me. Garret threw in a few of his words. But other than that, he was talking with James and Victoria. Sam and Tanya kept hissing at each other. They are not a couple yet, but I am getting the feeling that it's not too away now. Laurent and Irina is a couple and they talked between themselves.**

** Jacob Black asked me out today. Edward was standing behind me that time. I said no. Jacob is nice and good-looking but I don't think I'll ever say yes to anyone other than Edward. Jacob insisted a little but stopped when Edward growled at him. I like to believe Edward didn't like Jacob asking me out. That made my day.**

**20 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** Edward and I went out after school today. He took me to the First Beach and we laughed and talked and played in the water. He kept touching me every time: like holding my hand, keeping it around my shoulder, or wrapping it around my waist – stuff like that. I let him. God only knows I've been dreaming about it since ages. And you know I never let anyone that close to me.**

** I don't think I have anything else to write down. The only thing that's swirling in my head is what I wrote above. I just cannot stop thinking about him.**

**25 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** We talk. A lot. We spend time alone at times, too. Just for talking, okay? **

**30 August, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** He kissed me today. **

**We were at the beach again, playing in the water. I took a dip in the water and when I came up he wasn't there. Then suddenly, he resurfaced behind me and picked me up. I squealed in surprise and he laughed. I love his laugh. His green eyes laugh along with him, you know? I wrapped my hands around his neck for support. His laughter died away and he kept staring at me. I love looking in his eyes, too. **

**He steadied me on my feet again and before I know it, he was leaning in. It was the best kiss ever. Water and salt and his softness. When he pulled away, he grazed my cheek with his knuckles and smiled softly. He told me it was his best kiss, too. If sitting beside him on another chair in a room full of people was Heaven; then I don't know what I would call this.**

**12 September, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** Tomorrow is my birthday. And for the first time in my sixteen years of existence, I was excited about it. Edward and I aren't official yet. But he said he has some great surprise planned for me. So I am taking a guess and assuming that he'll propose me tomorrow.**

** Now, here's the main thing. I think I'm in love with him. I love the way he smiles, the way he throws his head back and laughs. I love his eyes. They remind me of my second most possessed thing: do you remember the emerald locket Grandma Marie gave me before she passed away? His eyes are exactly like that – emerald green. I love it when he kisses me. We never kiss in public, though. It's as if it is our own secret. I love that, too. I just love everything that is there to him. I simply love him.**

** I hope tomorrow he officially asks me out.**

**13 September, 2005**

**Dear Diary,**

** He didn't. He broke my heart, to be precise. He left. He left after humiliating me in front of his friends in the whole cafeteria. I was just asking him what my surprise was when he suddenly stood up and started yelling things I don't even want to think about. Everyone heard him. Jess and Lauren refuse to talk to me now. They said that I lost their friendship because I didn't even look at them when I started sitting with Edward: that bastard. It was true; but I thought they should've understood how much I liked him. It looked as if Katie wanted to talk to me but was too scared. I can understand. I wouldn't want Jess and Lauren to kick her out, too.**

** Now, it's just you and me, Diary. And I know you won't leave me. **

** I hate my birthdays. I fucking hate them.**

I closed my Diary and kept it beside me on the bed. I sat on the bay window and looked outside. The sky was orange and purple and pink and yellow, all blended together beautifully.

The day wasn't over yet, and my cheeks hadn't dried after all the crying. I was angry at myself. I was angry on him. I was angry on Jess and Lauren. I was just _so_ _angry_. Why was I such a big fool? I should've known that Edward Cullen would never like me. I wasn't ugly or anything, I was pretty. I knew it. But I just wasn't in his league. Girls like Tanya Denali were.

He had it all planned. It was his mission to fool me. And being the idiot I was, I fell right into his trap.

I didn't sleep the whole night. I didn't even blink. Because every time I closed my eyes, his laugh and accusations from the cafeteria would flash behind my eyelids.


	2. Chapter 1

**Thank you for the reviews people! It's been quite long since the Prologue, Net problems..!**

**Chapter 1**

**25 December, 2012**

**Dear Diary,**

** It's Christmas today. I went for shopping the day before; a small treat for myself. Mom and Dad sent me a beautiful card telling that they love me. There was a wrapped package also. I haven't opened it yet. I'll open it in a few days I guess.**

** Jasper and Alice did ask me to come join them for Christmas, but I politely refused. They were my friends, yes, but I didn't want to intrude on them at Christmas time. They are trying for a baby, you see. When I came home, I cried. I couldn't help it. It's been ages since I last spent Christmas with Mom and Dad.**

** Emmet and Rosalie Hale live in the house beside mine. There is only a small fence that divides us. I saw Emmet hanging on a ladder trying to put on lights outside their house yesterday morning. Rosalie was standing in the glaring sun shouting at him how he will hurt himself and at the same time giving out instructions where to put the lights on. It was funny to watch, really. Rosalie had noticed me then. I was embarrassed at being caught in a family moment. But she only grinned and waved. I waved back and ran back inside the house.**

** I've decorated the house, if you can believe it. I've put on streamers and lights and even a small, real tiny Christmas tree in the living room. It's cute and sufficient. I bought some clothes and a very cute purple sweater which I plan on wearing soon enough. I had some yummy dinner with hot chocolate and watched Christmas programs later on the television. So that was my celebration. I'm content in it. **

The following morning was very cold. I rejoiced in the fact that I had ten days of holidays still in my hands. I decided to lie in bed and go for a walking tour late afternoon. It was always good as a distraction for me. Taking the comforter over my head, I peacefully dozed off again.

When I finally got out of bed, I stepped into my lawn with a cup of coffee, warm in my numb hands. Everything was beautiful. It had snowed in the night. Every surface was covered with a thick layer of pure white snow. I smiled at the sight.

'Beautiful, isn't it?' Rosalie called from the other side of the fence.

'Hey, Rosalie. Yes, it's beautiful. I wish it was this way for the whole year,' I walked over to her.

She laughed. 'Me, too. But it's just the way life is.'

I tilted my head to one curiously, 'What do you mean?'

Rosalie looked around us. I followed her and took in the sight again. 'You see,' she said turning to look at me again, 'life is beautiful at times. But you don't realize that or appreciate it unless it wasn't bad at one point.'

I thought over it and knew she was right.

'Now, I need to wake up my man and get him to clean up all the snow in the driveway. I love him with all my heart but sometimes he does sleep like a monster,' she winked at me and walked off to her house.

I walked over to my small gate and tried prying it open. I sighed.

'Guess I wouldn't have any "my man" to clean this up,' I muttered to myself and walked back to my house.

Later that afternoon after I had huffed and panted through clearing up all the snow, I took a shower to wash off all the sweat. Jasper had come from across the street once and told me to go make a cup of tea and he'll take over for a while. I had my shoulders sagged in relief and thanked him. He had dismissed it with a wave of hand and smile on his face.

I grabbed a pair of jeans and a cotton shirt before donning on my cute purple sweater. When I was closing my gate behind me, Alice jogged over to me.

'Bella!'

'Alice!'

She chuckled at my mocking. 'You have to come to our house today!' she chirped, 'and no excuses,' she added when I opened my mouth.

'I'll try,'

She pouted. 'But Bella!'

'Yes, Alice?'

'It's Jasper's birthday today!'

'What?' I gaped. 'Shit! Why didn't you tell me earlier? He came to help me clear up my lawn and I didn't even wish him! ALICE!' I swatted at her arm.

'Ow,' she rubbed her arm and glared at me, 'It's not like you came to live here yesterday. You've been here since three years!'

She was right.

'Sorry,' I mumbled. 'Okay, I'll be there and I'll buy him a gift now. I'm going out anyways. What will he like?'

Alice rolled her eyes, 'Bring yourself, he'll like that.'

'Alice, you're not helping.'

'I'm serious,'

'Be funny, then?'

'He'll like a watch. He's pinning one for ages and I haven't allowed him. He has a nice one already, but I guess a gift won't harm.'

'Thanks.'

'Later,'

'Yep, bye.'

I walked into the only accessories shop in the town. It was still busy after Christmas. I pushed my way through the crowd. I met some people I knew and chatted for some while. They asked me if I was coming over at Jasper's later. Was I the only one who had forgotten? Seemed like it.

With a wrapped box of a beautiful watch for Jasper in my hand, I walked along the pavements still taking my time. It wasn't before seven that I had to be at Jasper's house. I had my tour walking and sat for a while in the frozen park on a frozen bench. Alone. I took out my Diary and wrote in it for a while.

'Hey,'

I looked up into the soft brown eyes of Emmet.

'Hey,' I greeted and closed my Diary before keeping it back in my small bag.

Emmet sat down beside me.

'What are you doing here?' I asked him.

He was sitting with his elbows on his knees and staring straight ahead. When he didn't answer, I frowned.

'What's up, Emmet? Something on your mind?'

He sighed. 'I don't want to have a baby right now.'

I stared at him.

He continued, 'Rose is trying to convince me otherwise, and I don't know how to say no to her again. I've already rejected so many times. I think she wants it because Alice and Jasper are trying. And it excites her. I'm not ready yet, you know? I want to wait for a few years before everything is settled.'

I understood what he meant. Rosalie and Emmet owned a garage in the town. Some thugs had robbed the place. Now, they didn't have all the tools they needed; and some money was also stolen. The thugs never got caught. They were still trying to get justice from the government. It was their only income. The landlords weren't going easy on them, either. They didn't have enough money to go on with their day-to-day life properly. A baby in the picture would only make the matters worse.

'Is that why you came to sit in the park? To make yourself accustomed to the idea of a baby?'

He smiled weakly at my attempt of humor. 'I guess,'

We were silent for a while, lost in our own thoughts.

I spoke first, 'Maybe it isn't because of Alice and Jasper are trying it.'

Emmet frowned, but kept silent and I continued.

'She may be thinking in a different way. You want everything settled; it could be that she thinks baby is what exactly you need to do that.'

'I just…don't know.' He sighed.

I rubbed his back soothingly. Emmet had huge physique and it hurt to look at him so defeated. He was always the strong one.

'Everything will work out fine, okay? It'll be all fine.'

Emmet smiled at me, 'I hope so, Bella. I hope so.'

Alice and Jasper's house was packed. Everyone was there. People were milling about in each and every corner of their house. I was mingling with everyone with a glass of wine in my hand and a smile on my face. Jasper was getting all the attention and even though he smiled and thanked everyone, there was little discomfort in his voice. He was alas a reserved person. And it was evident that he went through this party only for his wife, who was currently bouncing excitedly beside him.

When Alice announced it was time for cake, we all went into their backyard where a table was set up with candles and balloons under a gazebo. Everyone 'ooh'd and 'aah'd when Alice revealed the cake. It was huge and she had a picture of them made on the cake. In the photograph, Alice was beaming at the camera and Jasper was looking at her. The look he gave said it all. It was tender and full of love.

As we fed the cake to Jasper, Mike was taking the photographs. It was fun. We ended up coloring Jasper's face with the chocolate frosting. Even though he growled and whined and moaned about it, there was a smile on his face which clearly betrayed his verbal use of words.

Emmet was having the most fun. He picked up Jasper, literally, and threw him in the air before catching him again. The other guys got encouraged by it and followed the suit. Jasper looked like a bouncing stick; a very pissed off bouncing stick. But Alice had laughed which calmed down Jasper before he could kill everyone with bare hands. Jasper had joined in the laughing soon.

Then Emmet thought that it wasn't enough and had Mike take photographs of him pretending to "kiss" Jasper. Alice stood beside them in the camera frame with her eyes wide and hands on her mouth, pretending to be shocked at the revelation of her husband. Rosalie stood beside Alice and pretended to be disgusted and showed it by shielding her eyes. I participated along with everyone else and we took photographs with different scenes. One had Riley picking up Alice in bridal style and giving a smug look to Jasper. Alice was laughing her head off while Jasper looked like he was ready to strike like a snake. And I knew it was not "pretend-pretend". Riley had already once proposed to Alice but she had said no. Jasper wasn't in the picture that time, but he still got jealous of him.

Everyone trickled out of house by eleven. It was Jasper, Alice, Emmet, Rosalie and me still sitting in their living room and replaying the party between us.

'I don't like Riley near you,' Jasper said to Alice after we had calmed down from laughing at Emmet pretending to be gay and trying his moves on Jasper.

Alice put her tiny hands around his torso and smiled, 'You don't need to worry, babe. I love you,'

'I know,' Jasper sighed. 'But he loves you,'

She shook her head. 'You love me, not him. And I don't care what he does and says as long as you are here.'

'Does this mean that when I go for some business trip, you'll have a hot and heavy affa-'

'Don't even finish that line,' Alice growled suddenly.

Jasper held up his hands in surrender before pulling her into him and kissing her head. 'I was just kidding, Ali.'

'Not like this,'

'Sorry,'

I caught Rosalie's gaze before quickly looking away.

Nine days to go…

Yesterday when everyone went home, the five of us had some drinks. It wasn't much later that we were all drunk senseless and I can remember at least that because right now it felt like there was a woodpecker inside my head mistaking my brain for wood.

The phone rang.

'Hello?'

'Bella?' Alice's voice was groggy.

'Yeah?' My own wasn't that great.

'My head's gonna split,' she groaned loudly.

Ouch.

'You're making my head split,' I whined back.

'Shut up.' she moaned, 'Don't talk so loud.'

'It's you, not me.'

'You do realize that sounds contradictory to the breakup sentence "it's me, not you", right?'

'Where the hell did that come from?'

'You.'

'Whatever, Ali,'

'Whatever, Bells. Talk to you later. I can't remember a single thing!'

'Me, too. Bye.'

Hours later when I got out of bed, it was already late afternoon. I snorted and decided to start over dinner. When I was done by it in an hour, I kept it in the fridge and sat down at my study table.

I was in a Fashion Designing company with Alice. There was an upcoming fashion show and we wanted to do something different, as everyone wished. But we were coming up with no ideas. I had gone through numerous books and Internet research to search for something that would catch my eye. After an hour or so, I had found this beautiful dress that I fell in love with at first sight. Alice had suggested that I make some alterations and add a "Bella" look to it. I had nodded enthusiastically and since then working on the dress.

It was a red dress that came till just above my knees. The back was low and it had a halter-neck. It was simple, yes, but I loved it and found many ideas as to how I can improve it.

'Alice?' I opened their door and stuck my head inside. I couldn't see anyone. Opening the door completely, I stepped over the threshold and heard some voices drifting through the back deck. I hesitated but decided that it was probably Rosalie. I started towards the back as I called out again,

'Alice, I want to know what fabric do I use for that-'

I stopped.

It wasn't Rosalie.

Alice was beaming at me.

But my eyes were fixed on that person sitting on the chair on their back deck.

The bronze hair styled in the same messy look, skin pale and clear, and those same eyes reflecting my own shock: Emerald green eyes.

I whirled around.

'Bella?' His voice was the same: velvety and honey-like.

I stopped.

'Isabella Swan?' He called out again.

I slowly turned around and he flinched seeing the hatred written all over my face and eyes.

'Fancy seeing you here,' I snarled.

He was silent. There was nothing on his face except for curiosity which fueled my anger beyond reason-ability I thought there should have been that same laughing, sinister face.

'I moved into the next house,' he finally said.

'Wh-what?' I spluttered.

I all but ran through that house. I could hear Alice calling me back but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop.

**So yeah, he's back after seven years! We'll see in the next chapter how Bella reacts to the suddenness of the situation! **

**I'll try posting it as soon as I can! xD**


	3. Chapter 2

**Here's the chapter 2, people! Thank you for the reviews! xD**

**Chapter 2**

I didn't go home. I took a right and ran straight out of the lane. I hit the main road, but I couldn't stop. My breaths started coming in rasps, my head felt heavy, and my feet were starting to get seriously hurt. I finally reached the park.

It felt like a whole new world. Children were playing around, parents had their one eye closed and other fixed on their children. Couples seemed oblivious; completely out of the world. There were old people walking hand-in-hand and I smiled despite myself. There were colors everywhere: orange, yellow, and pink, lot of green, blue, purple, red.

I looked down at my feet and sighed. My heart was pounding loudly. My legs were trembling slightly as I walked up to the first empty bench I could see. I sat down heavily.

'Where the hell were you?' were Alice's first words when I reached home. She was waiting near my door. Her arms were crossed across her chest tightly, and she was openly shooting daggers at me.

'I was at the park,' I mumbled looking down as I climbed the porch steps.

I fumbled with the door knob before finally taking a steady breath and opening the door. Alice was silent. When I turned around to look at her, her brows were furrowed deeply.

We stood staring at each other for a while.

Eventually, her eyes softened and she took a step towards me. 'Bells,' she whispered.

My eyes stung. I quickly whirled around and stepped over the threshold. Alice followed me inside. I ran to the bathroom, shut the door, and slid down uneasily. I wrapped my arms around myself to stop the trembling. Still, my body shook; the tears came.

'Bella? Bells, are you okay?' Alice knocked on the door.

I sniffed. 'Alice, I want to be alone right now.' My voice shook.

She was silent for a second. I heard her footsteps trailing off.

The next morning, I woke up on the cold floor with my head laid on the toilet seat. I had gone off to sleep somewhere around midnight; I was too exhausted to even haul myself up till my bed. I took a long hot water bath and exited the bathroom.

Everything looked the same. Funny, I felt normal, too. My house was as usual: not too messy, not too clean. The morning sun threw beams of light over the kitchen countertops like everyday they did. There was not one single thing that proved everything was but same.

But I knew that would change when I would step out of those same yellow doors of my house.

And I did. I stepped out onto the porch. The sun broke through the clouds. I shielded my eyes instinctively. Across the gate of my lawn, I could see Jasper going off to work. Alice was standing in the doorway in her night gown. Jasper walked to his car, stopped, turned around before quickly running to Alice and kissing her. She beamed at him, ruffled his hair a little and let go. She waved at him till he disappeared around the corner.

Alice noticed me then. She gestured asking if I was okay. I smiled tightly before nodding.

Beside my house, I could faintly see Rosalie cooking in the kitchen. Emmet wrapped his hands around her waist from behind. She raised a spoon to his mouth to taste. He took it and nodded. She beamed before continuing to prepare the breakfast.

And at last, my eyes turned to look at the house across from Emmet and Rosalie's. My heart started pounding at its own accord. I tried taking a few steady breaths. I could see him through his window clearly. I shut my eyes tightly. But I couldn't move.

I don't know for how long I stood there. Eyes closed, taking deep breaths, on the porch in the morning sunlight. But soon – or maybe an hour later, I don't know – I heard his voice.

'Bella'

I didn't open my eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him just yet.

'Why are you here, Edward? I thought our story was over,'

'I didn't know you lived here.'

I opened my eyes finally.

There he stood, in a thick sweater and jeans, with the same bronze hair and green eyes.

'I'm sorry,' he said.

My eyes flashed with red. 'For what?'

'For what I did,'

'What did you do, Edward?'

His eyes looked pained when I said that. It didn't affect me whatsoever.

He didn't answer, nor did he move. We just stared at each other.

'I want your forgiveness,' he finally said.

'You won't get,' I sneered.

Without waiting for anything more, I walked inside my house. Looking at him for the last time – his hands tucked in his jeans pockets and a fallen face – I shut the door on him.

Evening time, Alice came by my house. We sat on the couch with mugs of hot chocolate in our hands.

'What's going on, Bella?' She finally asked.

I sighed and kept the mug on the table in front of me. I stared at the mug when I spoke. 'Edward and I…have a past.'

'I figured that much,' I heard her say.

'He pretended to like me and then humiliated me in front of everyone. On my birthday.'

She was silent. I waited patiently for her to say something.

She did. 'When you ran from my house yesterday, I asked him if you two knew each other. He told that you were in same school and hit a rough patch.'

I snorted humorlessly. 'A rough patch?'

'He wants my forgiveness now,' I said after a few minutes of silence.

'And what do you want?' she asked.

I looked up at her with disbelieving eyes. 'Are you seriously asking me that, Alice?'

She shrugged. 'I've never been able to figure you out, Bella.'

I drifted my eyes to the mug again. 'I just wish he never came here. I was over him. I had started a new life. And suddenly, he comes. It's much more to take in than I could have imagined. He will always be the same, Alice. Every time I look at him, I am back in that cafeteria with people gawking at me and him laughing at my mortification. I couldn't sleep. I cannot sleep.'

'That's all?'

My head snapped up at her as I glared, 'That's all?'

She held her hands up in surrender. 'Bella,' she said slowly and cautiously, 'there are people around you who have endured much more than some high school cafeteria humiliation. You are making a big deal out of it,'

I stood up. 'Get out.'

Alice looked flabbergasted. 'Bella, listen to me-'

'I'm telling just one more time, Alice. Get the hell out,'

She placed the mug on the table and stood up. As she walked past me to the front door, she muttered, 'Things change, and people change.'

I whirled around, 'What do you mean that, Alice?' she stopped. My voice rose as my anger and betrayal seeped through it, 'You are Team Edward now?'

She shook her head. And without saying anything, she was out of the door.

I stared after her. Things had turned out the wrong way. She was taking his side. What am I supposed to do now?

My knees buckled and I hit the floor in defeat.

**Alice changed sides. What do think about that?**

**The chapter is short, but they will get longer as the story proceeds!**

**Please review and let me know!**

**-Abbey!**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thank you all for those reviews! xD **

**Yeah, Alice was a bitch; but let's hope Bella will understand it a little better!**

**Chapter 3**

'What do you want, Jasper?' I asked, tired and just _tired_.

Jasper looked down at his feet. I couldn't even make myself feel sorry for him at the moment. It was still bright and early for me to wake up; but Jasper had been insistent as he rang my doorbell hundred times. So with a grudging face, I had wrapped myself in my robe and padded downstairs to open the damn door. My hair was still a tangled mess.

I sighed impatiently.

'Can I come inside?' he asked quietly.

I hesitated but stepped aside to let him in. Just before shutting the door, I caught a glimpse of Edward carrying something big and wooden onto his terrace attached to the bedroom upstairs.

I frowned and made my way to Jasper, who was hunched over my couch.

I made no move to sit down. He realized it when he looked up at me.

'I talked with Alice,'

The ceiling was quite interesting… hmm… I never thanked the designer properly.

'She was wrong, I know,' he sighed.

My lip suddenly itched to be bitten and the flower vase on the side table to my right was beautiful. Mom had sent me that.

'Will you look at me?' He asked with a little plea in his voice.

I looked at him. 'And what?' I asked, deadpanned. 'Hear you saying that Alice was wrong, "But Bella, she's my wife. I love her and I don't know what to do"?'

He looked taken aback at that.

'Look Jasper,' I said firmly, 'I trusted her and considered her a friend of mine. She asked me what was wrong and when I confided, she was all "People have seen more than some _high school cafeteria humiliation_, Bella".'

He was suddenly on his feet. 'You considered her a friend? Are you sure?'

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion and annoyance at his reaction. So I stayed quiet.

His hand went through his hair, and he pulled a little at the roots. He looked here and there, eyes darting around, not meeting mine, all frustrated and angry.

'What is it? Tell me,' I commanded. I wanted to know why the fuck he was saying that.

He looked at me finally. 'It's been three years, Bella. All you have done is drown in your own misery and not living. At all. I have seen you; _we_ have seen you. You never mix up, you never do anything. Just stay in this house feeling sorry for yourself all the time. And God knows over what. _Alice _considered you a friend, Bella. You never confided in, you never shared anything except for your work and friends. How can you claim to be her friend when you have done nothing of sort to prove it? Over the past three years, she's been gone through hell and came back; and where were you? Feeling sorry for yourself again?' He spat the last few words.

My jaw had dropped down sometime during his rant and I didn't care closing it.

Jasper didn't wait around to say goodbye. He went to the door, pulled it open and stopped short.

'What she said was wrong, Bella. But it was true. I'm not saying you deserved it or anything, I would have never said that to you. Alice never knew what to say to you as you never were around being the supposed _friend_.'

With that, he shut the door on me.

And I just stood there.

Was he right? Was I like that?

Yes, I was.

Suddenly, in the silence of my house, I snorted. Then I giggled. I kept giggling and giggling and I didn't know why. There was a mirror opposite me and I looked at myself and I giggled some more. Soon, I was laughing out loud.

I kept laughing and laughing and laughing and looking at myself in the mirror.

I didn't know when or how, but the laughter had turned into sobs.

Jasper's words had struck a nerve, truth to be told. So, making a brave face I grabbed my coat and went out late afternoon to have some fun.

Just as I was turning around the corner, my eyes on my feet, eyebrows furrowed in thought, I stumbled into someone. I looked up to say sorry but couldn't.

'Sorry, I didn't see,' he said instead. Sunlight in his hair, green eyes sparkling, a nervous smile on his lips…

I was back in that cafeteria when he had tapped on my shoulder and said 'hi' and I was so shocked I couldn't say anything.

So I didn't say anything.

He frowned and asked curiously, 'Where are you going?'

'To have fun,' I blurted out.

He raised his eyebrow expectantly.

'And where are you going to have fun?'

'It's none of your business,' I snapped at him.

His face fell for a second. But immediately, there was a tight smile on his lips.

'See you around,' he said and brushed past me.

What did he mean by "see you around"? I didn't want to see him around. Or anywhere else for that matter.

I was still standing there when I felt him walk by me again.

I eyed his retreating back suspiciously, but started walking myself.

The thing was I didn't know where I was going, so I just sort of followed him without him knowing.

The whole time I kept cursing at his back. Cursing him for making me feel follow him, cursing for making me wonder what he was carrying that wooden thing earlier, cursing him for making me feel being in that damn cafeteria all over again – and cursing him for making me smile when he stopped to greet some old lady and twirled her around playfully, and making her laugh softly.

The old lady passed by, beaming, and I followed my gaze discreetly. The bad that happened was when I turned around again to continue my following-Edward-activity, he was staring at me.

My face reddened. I looked everywhere around, trying to avoid his gaze.

'Bella?'

I shuffled my foot like a nervous five-year old.

'Bella?' he called a little louder and I had to look up.

'What?' I fired up at once.

His face went impassive as he coldly raised one eyebrow at me.

'What, can't I go the same way as you?' I snapped. I hoped my face looked annoyed-red rather than the real embarrassed-red.

He shrugged casually and bowed his head a little for me to go ahead of him. I gulped softly and started walking. When I passed by him, I stole a glance at his eyes. They were unreadable.

By the time I was completely ahead of him, I felt _him_ following _me_. I glanced over my shoulder.

Yep, he was following me.

Five blocks down and I couldn't take more of my sweaty palms and thundering heart. I whirled around.

'What?' he asked; stopping when I stopped.

I raised an eyebrow at him coldly.

He mocked, 'What, can't I go the same way as you?'

I huffed in anger and just stood there, without moving a muscle, glaring at him. He did the same – except his eyes weren't glaring, they were the usual unreadable.

'Why were you following me?' He finally broke the silence.

I considered saying something sarcastic back, and the answer was on the tip of my tongue, but instead I sighed tiredly.

'I didn't know where to go,' I mumbled.

His eyes scrutinized me for a long time. I had started getting _seriously_ uncomfortable when he finally said, 'I have something in my mind,'

'Why would I go with you?'

'How about – you don't know where to go?'

'So? I will figure something out,'

'By following me around?'

'I wasn't,'

'Yes, you were,'

'How do you even know that?'

A short pause. 'I wanted you to follow me,'

My hands which were crossed across my chest in defensive way, dropped down. 'What?'

**I simply love writing Ed-B meetings! It's fun!**

**Let me know what you think, please review!**

**Love ya,**

**-Abbey!**


	5. AN

**I am truly sorry for wasting this for an A/N, but i had to.**

**Things are getting in way right now. Submissions and this and that. You all know how life works. **

**I am going to continue the story, of course. I promise I won't leave it without completing.**

**And there's that writer's block eating at my brain.**

**Anyways, I would truly appreciate the people who are still waiting to read the next chapters, but this is for those who are impatient. I am sorry if I am not meeting your expectations of updating every day. Note my sarcasm there. And specially for one review i got, I would like to kindly inform the person that my wish of "writer's dream" is not going anywhere.**

**Thank you! And I am truly truly sorry for delaying this story for so long! :(**

**-Abbey**


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